Are you married to a coffee lover? Or are you a coffee lover yourself and would love your
spouse to better understand where you are coming from and how to feed this addiction!?
My wife is not so much a coffee lover but she’s a hell of a supporter. She buys me coffee gear on special occasions, ships me coffee from roasters I love and signs me up to attend or facilitate cuppings at cafes in cities we are visiting. Because she is so good, I have asked her to share with our audience her strategy of dealing with a coffee loving spouse.
To say my husband loves coffee could be considered one of the largest understatements when describing the love an individual has a passion of theirs.
My wonderful husband has been immersed in coffee culture since I met him. At this time, Starbucks was still an acceptable place to purchase coffee from– which was great for me since coffee isn’t really my thing. I can walk into Starbucks and go with a generic, sugar loaded, delicious option of a salted caramel mocha, which is really just sugar and milk with a side of coffee flavour– exactly how I like my coffee. While my beverage choice wasn’t ideal, he was always willing to accept how I just don’t really like coffee.
Jon Plett was planning on opening Jonny’s Java and was enjoying his time learning all about the high-end coffee world. Upon an adventure to California, we went to Intelligentsia. Jon ordered his usual (which consists of at least two of the following; cappuccino, espresso, americano, V60, or syphon if available). I was in line waiting for a tea and a barista had a little extra of a coffee they had brewed for the customer ahead which they kindly offered to me. I accepted (feeling weird to say no, even though I don’t really like coffee) and to my surprise, I enjoyed the beverage in the cup.
This was a momentous occasion. I recall Jon taking a picture of me with the first cup of coffee I have ever enjoyed (without adding anything to it) and I’m sure it came up in conversation with his coffee-loving friends.
As time has gone on I’ve learned how to please my coffee loving spouse in a few ways that may be helpful to you– especially if you’re a tea or sugary filled coffee beverage drinker like me!
1 – Soak in the knowledge.
Your spouse lives, breathes and literally LOVES coffee. The conversations they are having with people make them light up like Santa’s Workshop on Christmas Eve. When your spouse is sharing their endless knowledge about the worlds most consumed beverage, be sure to listen up. Perhaps you can share some of the knowledge with your friends in a random ‘did you know’/fun fact scenario (like I just did with that fun fact up there!)
2 – Support the Passion.
The coffee world is always growing. While you may not be keeping up with it, your spouse most certainly is! While hearing about some sort of new process might not be the most riveting thing you’ve heard, the genuine excitement your spouse has when talking about it means it’s time for you to actively listen! Ask questions, show interest and make notes.
3 – Coffee and coffee related items make the best gifts.
When surprising my husband by coming home a week early from a 5-month long stint in California, part of my plan was having a friend deliver him a bag of coffee from Blue Bottle telling him it was ‘air mailed’ today. While he was pumped to see me, he was equally pumped for the coffee. For his birthday I gave him a one-cup brewer he tried for the first time while visiting friends in Vancouver. The $250 bottle of Scotch hasn’t been opened yet, but the $15 brewer has been his preferred brew method since he got it.
4 – Show you care.
While coffee related items make the best gifts, showing you care goes deeper and shows you genuinely support their love. If I see something interesting regarding coffee pop up on social media or Pinterest, I make a point to share with my husband. Out and about and see something coffee related they were talking about or think they may be interested in? Snap a photo to share.
Being married to a coffee lover is awesome and I wouldn’t trade it for any other love! How coffee creates a common talking point with strangers we meet, and how coffee with Baileys is our summer staple makes it easy to accept and encourage his love for coffee! Learning how to feed the passion and appeal to your spouses interest makes your time together more enjoyable and gives your spouse added incentive to take interest in your passions too!
Aelea blogs about baking and social change at Love Inspires Change